Posted On: March 17, 2014
When you are having Lupus, intimacy becomes tricky. The disease and the treatments bring a lot of changes in your body; look varying from skin rashes, ulcers, hair loss. It deters your excitement, making your intimate moment way more painful and a matter of less interest.
Being always tired, depressed, with the joint paining you find the idea to make love to you partner fading out. When the situation persists for a longer period of time, it is obvious that the other person, your partner feels offended and angry.
However, it is possible to keep the compassion, warm love intact and smooth with a little bit of adjustments and alterations. The most important thing of precedence is communication between you two. The disheartening feeling of rejection can only be overcome by communication. Communication followed by other adjustments like trying out different less painful position, application of lubricants (in case you have vaginal dryness) may provide you relief and keep the sparks of love alive. Here are some helpful strategies that you may try out:
- Communication: As specified earlier, communication is very important. It is well understood that one hesitates to discuss it over with his or her partner in normal situation. And on it Lupus makes it even more challenging tricky to talk about sex, intimacy. But breaking this ice is imperative. Starting from the sexual desire to self image, fatigue, ability to tolerate the pain hampers the lovely warm compassionate moments.
You need to make a start, so how about a simple one? A simple line – “Hey Darling, Can we talk a little about this?” There’s enough room for an open conversation giving equal priority to both of your needs and desires.
- A positive note to start with: What could be better to start of talking about the good times you spent together. The feelings the days the moments when your loved one got you surprised and ended up in a long romantic kiss. So special, along with a physical intimacy. And how Lupus and its treatments affecting all the positive energy and thrash it out.
- A gesture: In case you are tired and don’t want to get intimate for the moment. Depression, emotionally exhausted all could be the possible reasons. It’s better to send him an indication, talking about what would probably make you feel better so that he understands your gesture keeping the most important section “understanding” active.
- Plan out your personal moments: Now if you are having stiff joints, muscle pains you may try taking measures that makes you feel better. Like a warm bath or a hot pillow to the joints or a power nap right before making love. You can possibly plan out the best hour for Sex keeping in mind when you feel most energetic and relaxed, when Lupus doesn’t bother you much.
- Make it comfortable: It’s a fact that Lupus is painful with joint stiffness, muscles aching and so on. How about maneuvering ways to shore up the body parts like legs, lower – back from being under pressure resulting into a painful one. You may wait to warm up the room, or go for a warm bath in advance of sex, if you certainly feel cold.
- Means of making-love: Sex is not always that defines love making. Intimacy, love making is closely related and so is keeping your connections going on. No matter, if it is not an intercourse, it can be as simple as holding hands, a shoulder message or a tender hug. It’s all about expressing your feeling how important your partner is for you in a non-stressful way. Relative studies have shown that a simple hug keeps you in sync with each other and also fine for your health.
- Be Healthy Be Strong: All the above mentioned methods are just alternatives to keep the flames on. But the best thing that you can actually do is to be good to yourself. It’s all in mind that keeps you going. Many people when diagnosed with some chronic disease gave up like having a death wish. While there have been numerous people with a belief that they would survive and lived beyond medical anticipations. Honestly speaking the best gift that you can give to your love is to starting loving yourself and caring for yourself.
A healthy eating habit, proper controlled lifestyle, exercise would make you healthy and also strong enough to hold your Love tight in your arms.
These are well tested techniques, to find if they are good enough you need to try them at-least once. These are shared by the couples having Lupus. Still if these issues persist, you should consult your doctor.