Posted On: September 23, 2014
Dating someone with lupus is very hard. Often there are hard times. Lupus is not contagious that it would spread by touching or closeness. But. the warmth of love and affection gives strength to fight against this horrible thing and live with a “Smile”. Never know one can live longer than assumed. Heartbreak could be very worse and even life-threatening.
Well, this is just one-side of the coin. Let’s look into the other side now. A happy, picture-perfect relationship would be where a partner knows (exactly you heard it right – “KNOW”) about lupus. If any doesn’t know how it is to live with Lupus or never saw heard about it, then there would be a constant push-and-pull in a relation especially when a lupie goes through a flare. And, the person unaware of the different faces of Lupus is left absolutely CONFUSED. Things change so fast, so swiftly that you don’t even get enough time to understand the situation and react likewise.
The girl starts behaving unusual, cranky and just in a couple of weeks you feel like you are dating a different person altogether. Could lupus change a person so drastically? Yes, lupus affects the central nervous system i.e. the mind. One moment she is excited to talk, but the very next moment you would find her mean, messed up. It is so possible. These are the hardest moments of Lupus and only both of you jointly together can!
It is very confusing to understand the situation, how to react in that situation. Let me help you in this journey through this emotional turmoil.
Remember a few thing when you are dating someone with lupus;
KNOW THE PERSON
Understanding is the basic foundation of any relationship. However, when you are dating someone with lupus, it becomes more evident to know the person in and out. A flare can change a person so drastically that you may start feeling confused or angry. But, you need to understand and see inside the same old heart that you have loved. And, you need to overcome all the confusion, go beyond and hold the hand with love. And, you would witness some miracle for sure.
LEARN ABOUT LUPUS
Lupus is not like any cold and cough. It is very frustrating at times. It changes life and robs one of career, hobbies, friends, money and sometimes love. Apart from what it is conveyed to you, you should know the reality of the disease with what your loved one is dealing with. Understand the symptoms, comfort her.
Patience and perseverance overcome mountains. Don’t get shaken up at the moments of hardship. It is hard to live with lupus and harder to be with one having lupus. Any outbreak or stress can worsen the situation, in fact, threaten a life. But with patience, the darkness would fade and a new daylight would shine in your life bringing new hopes.
DON'T BE INSECURE
Life is uncertain, but S.L.E. makes few things certain. Like those changes in human behavior, flares, ups, and downs, all are known chapters of living with lupus. There is no need to be insecure if she forgets to say “I Love You” for a while or forgets to call you someday. The truth is if you are really concerned about each other, if you are a perfect match for each other, then definitely you would find out a way to work it out between you two.
TALK, SHARE & UNDERSTAND
As the wedding vow says “in sickness and in health ’til death do us part”. When you genuinely love someone, then no physical disability can change the real connection that you have. All you need to do is to open up, talk about your feelings, your concerns. Express how much you care; express how much she means to you. Understand how she is feeling, what she wants. Dating while living with lupus is like the three-legged race. Winning doesn’t matter. What matters is participation and completing the race. You can reach the finish line with each others’ support and care.
CHERISH EVERY MOMENT
When you are dating someone with lupus, there is no surety for tomorrow or even the very next moment. Therefore, live in the present moment and cherish it fullest. Even today there is no cure for Lupus, but it is very much managed with the proper measures, medications, care, and love. It is a constant struggle with lupus. There will be hard times, but when together there would moments of real love and affection too. Cherish those moments that you live together, save it in your heart for the life. It brings your joy and serenity amidst of all the fatigue and pain gifted by Lupus.
Love heals every pain if it can’t heal then it gives enough strength to face it and live it. Love is a cure. The most important thing is that it should be true. Nothing matters if you share real feelings. Before you think to leave her, just give it a thought… “Would she have left you if you were in her place?”